How Do You Feel? (Brace Yourself)

I get this question quite a bit.  Everyone who poses the question is well-intentioned, but I'm not sure they are ready for my response.  Instead of telling the whole truth, I usually respond with "I'm hanging in there" or "I'm here" in hopes that will suffice. 

Given that last week was by far the most difficult week for me (physically and emotionally), allow me to detail what/how I really feel.  Forgive me, this is a bit self indulgent.

Ever since my blood pressure has been on the rise, I've been on strict bed rest, so I'm allowed to stand up to go to the bathroom and I can sit up for meal time. That's it. Otherwise, I am to be lying on either my right or my left side (preferably my left as it takes pressure off of a very important blood vessel and improves blood flow to the placenta). The trouble with lying on my left side is that baby B and D then begin to press on my diaphragm and I can hardly breathe. Top that off with my ridiculous sinus congestion and I honestly feel as if I'm drowning.  My nose is congested which then backs up my ears, so I can't hear very well and any time I flip to the other side, it sounds as if there is the ocean inside my head (Perhaps I should see this as a vacation?  Hardly).

In addition, I feel as if I have the back of someone at least twice my age.  I've had back pain before, but yoga and exercise seemed to solve it--and it's never been this bad.  Well, it's back (no pun intended) with a vengeance and now every time I take a step it feels as if my sacrum and my backbone and grinding against each other.  Luckily (?), it's worse on my left side, so I can usually step with my right foot and then drag the left foot behind me. Getting a good mental image of me, aren't you? 

Then there's the belly.  The belly is HUGE at the point (I've gained 85 pounds, folks). Each baby weighs 3 pounds now, so there is a minimum of 15 pounds in this belly every day, all day.  The skin on my belly is tender to the touch--almost like a sunburn.  Doctors say this is "simply stretching," which I chalk up to them being men and never experiencing this feeling before.  Rolling over in bed is one of the more painful activities of my day.  This ain't no sunburn, friends.

So, how am I feeling?  Well, I'm definitely hanging in there, but just one day feels like a week.  Still, I'm grateful to not be in the hospital yet.  Now that I'm 31 weeks and 2 days, I am proud of our progress.  Still, the doctors say that will let me go until 34 weeks, so I could have as many as 2.5 weeks ahead of me.  I'll pause and try to put on a happy face before posting again.  Thank you all for your love and support--it really does make a difference!  Here's a video of some kicking action--these kiddos love to move around right before dinner time.

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