Reflection

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while.  Grief is exhausting.  Life has been exhausting.  Owning my own business has been an exciting ride, but I miss my dad as an advisor.  He was such a tremendous strategist and coach.  He gave me such a sense of calm when the waters were rough and such a sense of tenacity when work needed to be done.  I miss that--terribly.  Every day.

My daddy has been gone now for almost four months now--and life goes on, doesn't it?   Children get older (Ava stuck a bead in her nose); pants get tighter (I'm afraid I'm eating my feelings); and the days get shorter (oh my GOSH is it spring yet?!).  

This and I'm in my busiest season at work, which is both exciting and overwhelming for my clients.  I love being a source of support and wisdom for my clients, but as you can imagine, it's time-consuming.  I usually work 10-14 hour days during this season.  I see my kids less, my computer screen more, and my fingernails get shorter and shorter with each passing day.

As we come out of this season, a very dear friend loans me her river house for the weekend where I can come and decompress from a tough season.  I'm there now.

Here today in this beautiful location, I had a thought, and I wanted to share this with you.  

I went kayaking today---being on the water was one of Daddy's favorite things. I saw the brilliant orange and golden leaves shining in their glory on the Virginia trees.  I love this time of year--the soft afternoon glow of Virginia fall afternoons is one of the main reasons I love living here.  

But as I looked down on the water, I noticed the reflection of the leaves on the water.  I realized that the reflection of the tree on water masked all of the imperfections of the tree itself.  The reflection was even more beautiful than the tree.

I almost felt like Daddy was saying to me, "I taught you everything I could.  Now go shine, Boo Boo.  Go shine.  Don't make my mistakes--do even more than I could.  Be the beauty in the reflection of me."

Then, as always, I think about my own kiddos.  I hope I can teach them enough so that they can reflect even more beauty and hope into this world.  I hope they can be more faithful to God, more hopeful, more determined, and even more focused.  I pray God blesses me as I try to help each child grow every day.  

Parenting brings out the best and the worst in us, right? I think we hold fast to the idea that God made parenting in a way that our children can be a reflection of us and Him, in that they shine so beautifully, they cover our imperfections and share their light with this world.  

Clara

Izzy

Millie

Luke

Ava