Friday, December 2, 2016

In The Hospital

Hello my friends,

Thank you for tolerating my whining earlier this week.  I don't usually think of myself as a whiner, but some days you just need to take a moment, ya know?

Everything is going to be ok!

Big news broke yesterday.  First of all, our doctors scheduled my C-Section for December 17, 2016.  That will be exactly 34 weeks gestation.  I'll be honest, I really thought I would have these babies well before that, but if we make it to 34 weeks, it will give them every chance possible to have a healthy life.

Second part of the news is that I was admitted to the hospital yesterday.  My blood pressure still isn't cooperating and the doctors want to be able to monitor me more closely. Michael and I agreed with this decision--as much as I like being at the apartment, it is a bit scary to worry about each little pain/pressure I feel.  Being under constant care does indeed bring peace of mind.

Still, it's the hospital, not the Hilton.  I can't say it's all that restful or comfortable, but the doctors and nurses here at St. Joseph's are SO kind and supportive.  When I walked into Labor and Delivery yesterday, the entire staff started clapping.  It was a wonderful way to start our stay.

Still, the idea that I can't leave the hospital takes a toll on my psyche.  I tried to fight the panic last night, but I lost.  I sat in the hospital bed with tears streaming down my face, as I squeaked, "I can't do this...I can't do this."  Being the good husband he is, Michael comforted me with words of encouragement, Reece cups, and Netflix.  Worked like a charm.

Unfortunately, Michael couldn't stay the night with me last night because our beloved dog Ellie is still at our apartment.  As a result, he left me around 9:30 pm to go check on Ellie and spend the night at our apartment.  While I was totally on board with this decision,  the gray clouds of loneliness really started to roll in. I'm in a strange place with very little support going through one of the scariest moments of my life.  Oh, the tears!  I cried and cried, longing for a sense of stability.

Before Michael left, we agreed we needed more help.  So we made the call to the "Calvary," as I know them.  The Calvary is another word for Mama and Papa Bolton.  I need my mom at this point.  Not only can she help me keep track of all of the medical info, she can keep me company, and give Michael some flexibility in his schedule.

Being the amazing mom she is, Mom is currently in route to Arizona and will be here tonight for dinner.  I already feel a sense of relief knowing I'll have some extra help from a very special lady.

In other news, the doctors have officially diagnosed me with preeclampsia, so it's a good thing I'm here for monitoring.  As of now, it's a mild case of preeclampsia, so we'll monitor blood pressure and labs.  If things start to change, they will bump up the date of my delivery.

In the mean time, I'm bored in the hospital.  Feel free to leave some comments for me or request a topic for me to cover in future posts.

Monday, November 28, 2016

How Do You Feel? (Brace Yourself)

I get this question quite a bit.  Everyone who poses the question is well-intentioned, but I'm not sure they are ready for my response.  Instead of telling the whole truth, I usually respond with "I'm hanging in there" or "I'm here" in hopes that will suffice. 

Given that last week was by far the most difficult week for me (physically and emotionally), allow me to detail what/how I really feel.  Forgive me, this is a bit self indulgent.

Ever since my blood pressure has been on the rise, I've been on strict bed rest, so I'm allowed to stand up to go to the bathroom and I can sit up for meal time. That's it. Otherwise, I am to be lying on either my right or my left side (preferably my left as it takes pressure off of a very important blood vessel and improves blood flow to the placenta). The trouble with lying on my left side is that baby B and D then begin to press on my diaphragm and I can hardly breathe. Top that off with my ridiculous sinus congestion and I honestly feel as if I'm drowning.  My nose is congested which then backs up my ears, so I can't hear very well and any time I flip to the other side, it sounds as if there is the ocean inside my head (Perhaps I should see this as a vacation?  Hardly).

In addition, I feel as if I have the back of someone at least twice my age.  I've had back pain before, but yoga and exercise seemed to solve it--and it's never been this bad.  Well, it's back (no pun intended) with a vengeance and now every time I take a step it feels as if my sacrum and my backbone and grinding against each other.  Luckily (?), it's worse on my left side, so I can usually step with my right foot and then drag the left foot behind me. Getting a good mental image of me, aren't you? 

Then there's the belly.  The belly is HUGE at the point (I've gained 85 pounds, folks). Each baby weighs 3 pounds now, so there is a minimum of 15 pounds in this belly every day, all day.  The skin on my belly is tender to the touch--almost like a sunburn.  Doctors say this is "simply stretching," which I chalk up to them being men and never experiencing this feeling before.  Rolling over in bed is one of the more painful activities of my day.  This ain't no sunburn, friends.

So, how am I feeling?  Well, I'm definitely hanging in there, but just one day feels like a week.  Still, I'm grateful to not be in the hospital yet.  Now that I'm 31 weeks and 2 days, I am proud of our progress.  Still, the doctors say that will let me go until 34 weeks, so I could have as many as 2.5 weeks ahead of me.  I'll pause and try to put on a happy face before posting again.  Thank you all for your love and support--it really does make a difference!  Here's a video of some kicking action--these kiddos love to move around right before dinner time.