Mommy, can I have a cup of orange juice?
Mommy, can you print a picture of Princess Jasmine for me?
Mommy, can you wipe me?
Mommy, I don't wannnnnt to eat my spinach.
Mommy, can you take off my shoe?
Mommy, can I have some ice?
Mommy, I spilled my raisins.
Mommy, will you sit by me? No, me! No, me! No, me!
Mommy, will you carry me upstairs?
Mommy, will you sing one more song?
Mommy, what day is today?
Mommy, what day is tomorrow?
Mommy, I saw a green car for you.
Mommy, I pooped!
Mommy, can I take gymnastics?
Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?
Mommy....Mommy...Mommy...Mommy...Mommy...Mommy...Mommy..Mommy...Mommy...Mommy..
Do you hear me now? I think all moms understand this feeling, right? It NEVER ends sometimes. Yes, you may be smiling, maybe even laughing, but it is quite overwhelming to hear this day in and day out. And it's a push/pull sensation for me.
Part of it is I have desperately wanted to be a mother for years. I have wanted to sing one more song, kiss someone (or people) goodnight, and snuggle those sweet baby heads. I've felt the echoes of an empty womb and how deeply sad it feels to long for a child you cannot have. If you are a woman going through fertility struggles, please know my heart is with you.
But now here I am. I do indeed still work full time, so after doing the job that I love for 8-12 (yes, sometimes 12) hours a day, I enter Mommy-land. And sometimes, I'm overwhelmed by how much I'm needed. Anyone else feel that way?
Sometimes I still feel as if I'm my Mama's child and I'm the one who needs to be mothered, and now I have these five little ducklings that need all of me (and sometimes what feels like more) to tell them what day it is, wipe them, explain thunder, and everything in between.
But I've realized this is truly where grace comes in. God gives us grace. Grace to be less so He can be more. I've realized I can only be me to my children and the rest will indeed be provided for them. I have an amazing husband who is Super-Dad, who can handle all five kiddos on his own and not flinch. We have an incredible au pair who brings such joy and kindness to this world, she doesn't even realize it. And God blesses our children with a supportive extended family who visits and loves on them every chance they get.
So, I'm not enough. There, I said it. But, GRACE is enough and His grace is sufficient. So the next time my chest starts to hurt and one. more. person. asks me to wipe them, I'm going to remember this and hopefully I'll be a little less overwhelmed.
Happy Saturday!
