I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. Grief is exhausting. Life has been exhausting. Owning my own business has been an exciting ride, but I miss my dad as an advisor. He was such a tremendous strategist and coach. He gave me such a sense of calm when the waters were rough and such a sense of tenacity when work needed to be done. I miss that--terribly. Every day.
My daddy has been gone now for almost four months now--and life goes on, doesn't it? Children get older (Ava stuck a bead in her nose); pants get tighter (I'm afraid I'm eating my feelings); and the days get shorter (oh my GOSH is it spring yet?!).
This and I'm in my busiest season at work, which is both exciting and overwhelming for my clients. I love being a source of support and wisdom for my clients, but as you can imagine, it's time-consuming. I usually work 10-14 hour days during this season. I see my kids less, my computer screen more, and my fingernails get shorter and shorter with each passing day.
As we come out of this season, a very dear friend loans me her river house for the weekend where I can come and decompress from a tough season. I'm there now.
Here today in this beautiful location, I had a thought, and I wanted to share this with you.
I went kayaking today---being on the water was one of Daddy's favorite things. I saw the brilliant orange and golden leaves shining in their glory on the Virginia trees. I love this time of year--the soft afternoon glow of Virginia fall afternoons is one of the main reasons I love living here.
But as I looked down on the water, I noticed the reflection of the leaves on the water. I realized that the reflection of the tree on water masked all of the imperfections of the tree itself. The reflection was even more beautiful than the tree.
I almost felt like Daddy was saying to me, "I taught you everything I could. Now go shine, Boo Boo. Go shine. Don't make my mistakes--do even more than I could. Be the beauty in the reflection of me."
Then, as always, I think about my own kiddos. I hope I can teach them enough so that they can reflect even more beauty and hope into this world. I hope they can be more faithful to God, more hopeful, more determined, and even more focused. I pray God blesses me as I try to help each child grow every day.
Parenting brings out the best and the worst in us, right? I think we hold fast to the idea that God made parenting in a way that our children can be a reflection of us and Him, in that they shine so beautifully, they cover our imperfections and share their light with this world.